Elvis Caught My Soul in the Air Like a Rose Between His Teeth by CAConrad

by CAConrad

pop logoMina Loy once said, “If you are very frank with yourself and don’t mind how ridiculous anything that comes to you may seem, you will have a chance of capturing the symbol of your direct reaction.” Music is part of my everyday poetry experiments, especially with the study of Ernst Chladni‘s discoveries that music has physical form, OF HOW music has physical form.

Music takes shape in us. Crop collectors are my favorite beetles and bees and I’ve spent time sitting very still in patches of daffodils in hopes of being pollinated TO NO AVAIL! Music though! At this very moment I am listening to two different CDs at once, Portishead’s latest triumph, THIRD, and the soundtrack to VIVA LAS VEGAS.


Elvis is immersion for all of these tines of the comb raking across the groin. Degeneration essentials.

Elvis is He is He. Peanuts taste like Him, tubs of margarine taste like Him, my boyfriend’s cum tastes like Him, you can tell this truth or not, but it still tastes like Him. Enter into this a bastard loving the crotch-al swing of it. Elvis enchants the new chakra the external chakra for our poisonous drainage.

I MEAN HEAPS AND HEAPS OF US AT IT! Oh no, Oh my, I make sense every time I try not to make sense on Him. Elvis is He is He. Those of us born in the last half century heard Him in the womb at some point, on Momma’s record player while she softly rubbed us through her belly. Or from a passing car. THE LUCKIEST OF US WERE CONCEIVED WHILE MOMMA AND PAPA FUCKED TO ELVIS PUMPING OUT OF THE RECORD PLAYER OUT OF THE WALLS OUT OF THE FUCKING LEAVES OF PLANTS ON THE SILL AN ENTIRE ELECTRICAL PULSE FOR SPERM TO FIND EGG THE EGG SPLITTING OVUM SEND US INTO LIGHT.

elvis dances and sings

In Graceland We Trust. The American poet Karen Weiser wrote in the introduction to her newest set of poems, “When I became pregnant I felt like my brain and body were filled with static. This static was less a sound than a sense that the flickering of snow on a TV screen had been made into liquid and pumped into my veins. This made it hard to think, hard to do anything. After a while I realized that it was her signal. I couldn’t hear my own ways of thinking or feeling with this other person’s atoms multiplying inside of me. It was the sound of the big bang, and my own radio brain was tuned in.” (from To Light Out, forthcoming from Ugly Duckling Presse). It’s so beautiful to KNOW THIS TRUTH from a trusting poet! The beauty of it opens everything wide open in so many ways!

Sex between consensual adults and pregnancy cannot be separated. The sex of the pregnancy must be as cherished as the pregnancy, and THIS is where Elvis enters our new domain. For too many years now pregnancy was without ROCK AND ROLL and the sex of the pregnancy not spoken of, and the women made to BE CAREFUL about everything they said, did, thought about the sex of the pregnancy. Made to feel rude. Made to feel cheap and grotesque for liking sex. ROCK AND ROLL SAVED OUR SOULS BY SAVING OUR BODIES! ELVIS WAS the gateway for PUNK ROCK AND ALL THE AMAZING WOMEN WHO FOUND THEIR VOICES AS WELL AS THEIR BODIES IN THE MUSIC!

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As I point out in my new book advanced ELVIS course it’s true IT’S TRUE that He came back for us. In a past life He led a pagan tribe conquered by nay-saying Christian fanatics. As St. Patrick DROVE the snakes out of Ireland to destroy THE WILL of desire, SO ELVIS brings those snakes back HOME TO US! ROCK AND ROLL TAKES THE SNAKES BACK INSIDE AND GIVES US THE PLEASURE OF LOVING OUR BODIES AND LOVING HOW THEY LOVE ONE ANOTHER. ROCK AND ROLL DEFIES THE SHAME OF OUR LIVES AND OUR DESIRES WE HAVE LIVED WITH THE PAST TWO THOUSAND YEARS OF GUILT AND DISGUST FOR OUR BEAUTIFUL HUMAN BODIES!

WE ARE TRULY SAVED when we LOVE OURSELVES FIRST! THAT is the message of Elvis. THANK YOU ELVIS THANK YOU! Below is an interview I did with myself for advanced ELVIS course and it was almost a channeled experience, the interview. IT CAME OUT OF ME. Yes, the ideas had been cooking in me, but SUDDENLY and I do mean SUDDENLY this poured out of me, nearly no editing later. It was difficult at first trying to convince me to interview me. I was quite resistant to allow me to interview me. But a trust started to develop in me for what I knew to be beautiful, AND LOVING facts about Elvis, so I finally convinced me to let me interview on Him.

I’m very happy that Soft Skull Press is publishing advanced ELVIS course in June of this year. http://ADVANCEDELVIS.blogspot.com

advanced elvis course

Interview with the author of Advanced ELVIS Course

ME: Have you ever jerked off while fantasizing about Elvis?

ME: I don’t jerk off.

ME: Yeah, right. Well, have you ever fantasized about Elvis while making love to someone?

ME: Not “to” someone, it’s “with.” And there’s no need to fantasize. Ever since Elvis took the stage in the late 1950s, every man has genetically enterprised in actual time/flesh, different aspects of Elvis to profit from the enormous burden of attraction he instilled upon the species. Elvis is always in bed with you, even in most cases of lesbian sex.

ME: What about Norberto?

ME: The reason my relationship with Norberto has lasted as long as it has is due to the enormous number of attributes of Elvis he has absorbed.

ME: Does he know this?

ME: No, most men have absorbed these qualities on a subconscious level. It’s those who are aware of the Elvis they have adopted in their love-making that have a particular flair for the type of sexual spontaneity which will ultimately move that soul forward to a higher frequency.

ME: How do we discover a lover’s Elvis aspects, and how do we let them know?

ME: Well, telling them about it runs the risk of sounding insane. What I’ve done to move forward spiritually with my lover—because that is, hopefully, the goal—is play Elvis music while we’re in bed. What this does is connect his absorbed Elvis aspects with the vibration of Elvis’s actual vibrato which put those absorbed aspects in him in the first place. Almost instantly you will notice a connection, a heightened awareness in the various movements to the opera of your love-making.

ME: What songs do you recommend?

ME: It’s good to experiment. Each soul has fused with a different combination of Elvis aspects which best aids their awareness and eventual progression. I’ve found Norberto and I move forward as bonded souls with such songs as “Kentucky Rain,” “All Shook Up,” “Surrender,” and particularly the entire soundtrack to Viva Las Vegas. Norberto has the largest variety of Elvis aspects of any man I’ve ever known. He’s an advanced soul who is allowing himself to press forward faster with me.

ME: Even though he’s married already?

ME: His wife is not aware of his Elvis aspects. It’s clear he experiences a different state of consciousness when he’s with me. And besides, Norberto and I have much karma to run our fingers through by aligning our Elvis aspects.

ME: What about the songs? Is it the words?

ME: The surface content of the songs has some effect, yes, but it’s really the actual sound wave itself, still hidden to the optic nerve of the human eye in our present state of physical evolution on earth. The sound waves of Elvis carry deeply buried, deeply important signals which adjust, readjust, align, and ultimately raise the source of light in the tissue, fusing the purpose of the tissue with the purpose of the soul, which came to earth encoded for the journey of a life.

ME: Does the orgasm play a role in the sexual/spiritual process?

ME: The orgasm is a reward on the physical plane only. The orgasm does interrupt, and often undo much of the Elvis aspect alignment, which means prolonged love-making is much preferred to ensure that a new level of raised frequency and light is reached. I find if it’s too quick, an orgasm can actually reverse the achieved levels of previous Elvis aspect love-making. But then again, we can’t spend all day in bed.

ME: The world would probably be a better place though.

ME: Oh yes, I’m convinced the rhythm of worldwide love-making for a solid 24 hours would shudder the planet to its core, causing a planetary orgasm which would connect us with our true Elvis aspects right off the physical plane for good.


caconradCAConrad is the son of white trash asphyxiation whose childhood included selling cut flowers along the highway for his mother and helping her shoplift. He escaped to Philadelphia where he lives and writes with the PhillySound poets. His latest book The Book of Frank (Chax Press, 2009) received THE GIL OTT BOOK AWARD. He is also the author of Deviant Propulsion (Soft Skull Press, 2006), (Soma)tic Midge (FAUX Press, 2008), and two forthcoming books, advanced ELVIS course (Soft Skull Press, June 2009), and a collaboration with poet Frank Sherlock titled THE CITY REAL & IMAGINED: Philadelphia Poems (Factory School Press, 2010). He invites you to visit him online at www.CAConrad.blogspot.com.

photo by Janet Mason (http://amusejanetmason.com)